Cartastrophe in the Produce Section

Backstory: This was in the summer of 2016. I worked most days – the girls – Hannah, 12 years old and Caitlin, 5 years old, went to their grandparents (my parents) while I was at work. An aide from a local agency would come and pick up our autistic oldest son.

Jacob’s aide walks in the door: “Good morning!”

Caitlin: “I fell off a grocery cart and I have a bruise! See? Look!” (Rolls up pant leg)

Me: “WHAT?! This is news to me!!”

Hannah: “I TOLD Grandma it was going to happen but she wouldn’t listen. Caitlin’s face looked like this 😨, HAHAHA!”

Caitlin: “It was Hannah’s fault!”

Hannah: “It was NOT. You didn’t HAVE to fall down!”

____________________

Later, me to my mother: “Caitlin fell off the grocery cart yesterday?”

Mom: “Yup. She didn’t even cry really loudly! I thought she’d know to take a step off…”

_______________

The story, apparently –

Grandma took the girls grocery shopping. Grandma got a small cart. Caitlin wanted to ride on the front of it, facing Grandma who was pushing it. Hannah, 12 years old, took one look and warned her grandma that the physics of such a setup was asking for disaster. Caitlin, 5 years old, argued that she stands on the front of the cart all the time for Grandpa (let’s all just assume he uses a big cart). Grandma figured that info from a 5-year-old was completely reliable so she kept the little cart.

Hannah proceeded to roll her eyes far enough to strain her cornea and considered herself no longer involved in the impending gong show.

Grandma pushed the cart with Caitlin standing on the front over to the tomatoes (so, maybe 15 feet inside the door). Stopped the cart, took a step away to select some tomatoes. Cart, with nothing in it to counterbalance the 60-pound kid gleefully hanging on the front, tipped forward (so, Caitlin tipped backward). Rather than taking a step off the cart to stop herself from falling, Caitlin instead landed on her butt, then her back and head, and the cart tipped over with her and bashed her on the shin and generally mauled her because why would she even think to let go of it before then?

And when Grandma moved/lifted/extracted the cart off of the fallen child (and probably had to pry said child’s fingers off of it), the first words out of the poor cart-attacked one’s mouth were “IT’S HANNAH’S FAULT!”

What I most appreciate about all three of these geniuses’ stories is that they don’t even conflict. They all are just like, “Yup. That’s how it happened.”

All I know for SURE is that I would REALLY like a copy of that surveillance video.. 😂

❤ Sue

The cast of the show (plus our dog).

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