So funny story, true story: I applied for the job as my church’s secretary. Stop laughing, that’s not supposed to be the funny part. Okay, it kind of is.
It has been a bit tricky to pay our bills lately so the position opening seemed like manna from heaven, so to speak. And I perfectly qualify in every way to be the church office assistant EXCEPT in what would be considered a clearly Godly character.
Oh, don’t even argue. My strengths are in administration and (often trivial) knowledge, not in mercy, grace and self-control.
I gave myself pep talks before the interview, telling myself I could totally pull off appearing like I’m ‘that’ kind of woman – “What would your good, meek Christian girlfriends say? Stick to those answers.”
Yeah. Turns out that I can’t even slightly be ‘authentically somebody else’ for the span of half an hour.
I probably said that word, too.
Even if I could have pretended to be something I’m not, 2 out of 3 of the interviewers have known me for yeeeears. Even if I had somehow pulled off the ‘refined, meek and self-controlled’ act they still would have said, “Wow, that was very nice. And fake,” after I left.
Fortunately these are Godly men of character and integrity. With absolutely zero sarcasm I say, I completely trust their decision. They know me, as well as the inner workings of the church, well enough to know if I would be a good fit for the job. They know better than I do. And also, if it was meant to be then there was nothing stupid I could say in that interview that would mess that up.
It felt very much like a turning point in my life. I knew that whatever God wanted, would happen; either I was going to represent Jesus from a very key and visible position in the church, or on my blog which is waaayy scarier.
You may say, “it’s not that big of a deal, Sue, you could do both!” but you have no idea of the not-easy, potentially unpopular observations I have on my heart; those most likely to be offended by my words are Christians – not necessarily ones in my church, but Christians in general.
If I had been hired by the church I would have chosen to tone my blogging style down by several notches to be sure I would not offend, not even spoken about a couple topics, and probably would have deleted a couple of posts I’ve already made.
So. I didn’t get the job, they hired the honestly perfect person for it instead and, rather than disappointed, I am now officially terrified.
I modified the title of the blog, added ‘I Know This Much Is True’ as a reminder to myself more than anything…
“Don’t worry about having all the answers – simply tell the truth.”
I could just as easily have changed it to ‘I Know This Much is True (and This Over Here is Bullshit)’ but honestly, bullshit already gets too much airtime so it hardly needs mentioning.
I have said it before and I’ll say it again, I lean towards science. And truth. And proven. And of course I’m a Christian, too, but in less of a “y’all are going to hell” sort of way and more of a “we’re all assholes but God loves us, anyway” sort of way.
Here’s the kicker, though: I don’t know how it all works but I do know that I’m going to trust what science says before I trust your translation of the Bible. Once upon not that long ago, the Bible was used to validate keeping people of color enslaved and for keeping women uneducated, not able to vote, and in a position of servitude.
I am no Bible scholar but I can tell you this, the one thing Jesus said that is abundantly clear and easily translated is “Love God and love your neighbor as yourself”.
Newsflash #1: no other verses are going to contradict that, therefore there is no way that somewhere else in the Bible you are given permission to treat other people as being inferior.
Newsflash #2: Jesus would be quite horrified at what the people who claim to be His followers are doing to other people in His name. I have a couple examples for that in future posts, which will also involve…
Newsflash #3: The right answer often takes some explaining, is grey and not all sunshine, and is unpopular. The wrong answer is easy, clear, black-and-white and accepted by the majority (‘the majority’ in this case being the conservative Christian Right).
Obviously I’m not perfect. Clearly I am beyond unqualified for this, as many of you may be itching to tell me. But I do know this – I relate to being seen as less-than. I relate to being misjudged.
I have a child who many still see as having a disorder that needs to be ‘cured/fixed/trained to pass as normal’ rather than as a person who was born that way and deserves acceptance.
So I will say what I know is true; what needs to be said.
*disclaimer: the church I attend is awesome and accepting: what I say here is not necessarily a reflection of their opinions nor am I talking about them when I make broad stroke statements about the church and Christians in general.